You’ve read several financial blogs, personal finance books, and listened to all the money podcasts you can find. You’re motivated and you’ve been working hard to improve your money skills. But now you’re at that point where you’re ready to take your finances to the next level.
There’s just one little obstacle you’re facing – your spouse isn’t on board with hiring a financial planner for your family. You know that you need financial help but they don’t see the value in working with an outsider.
Money Talk Is Taboo
The best way to start is by listening. Begin the conversation by finding out what their concerns are with hiring outside help. Many people have had a bad experience with a salesman disguised as a financial advisor where they were pushed products they didn’t necessarily need. The financial industry, unfortunately, is not very consumer-friendly in determining which advisors are salesmen versus fiduciaries working in your best interest.
Or maybe they are not comfortable sharing their personal finances with a complete stranger. Money can be a taboo topic in many marriages and bringing in another person can feel overwhelming.
Whatever the reasons are, if you listen first, you have the opportunity to ease their concerns and bring some additional resources to the table to help understand the importance of getting a plan in place.
Figure Out Their “Why”
Financial planning and all the things that go into it – budgeting, saving, investing, taxes, estate planning – isn’t exactly fun for most people and not something they necessarily want to do just for the sake of doing it. Figuring out what is important to them, however, can set the stage for why a financial plan is so important.
If your spouse has a dream or an idea for the future, you may get their buy-in when you explain the peace of mind that will be received when you’re doing everything you need to be doing in order to move forward. It is so much easier (and faster) to reach your goals when you know where you are going and how you are going to get there.
Explain the Process
Once you’ve listened to their concerns and you’ve discovered the things that are important to them and what motivates them, bring up the topic of working with a money expert to move your finances forward. They may have had a bad experience working with outside help or maybe they just do not understand the process. Here is an example of what a fee-only planner can offer:
- A one-time meeting to explore a specific area of your finances
- A financial plan which may consist of several meetings but concludes with you walking away with a plan to implement
- An ongoing relationship where you work with a planner, collaborate and are held accountable to stay on track
- Ongoing investment management on your accounts
Lay the Groundwork
Take the time to create a list of three advisors that you would be interested in working with and let your spouse know why you chose those three. When it comes time to meet with the potential advisor, do not feel shy about asking them the tough questions. There is a great list that can give you the appropriate questions to ask here. After all, it is your responsibility to do proper due diligence to ensure you choose someone you will be comfortable working with and has your best interests in mind.
Get Them On Board
We all know that in order for a relationship to thrive, both parties have to be on the same page. Money just happens to be one of those stressful topics that couples argue about and unfortunately is the second leading cause of divorce. Your finances are so important not only because it affects every part of your life, however, it’s important so you and your spouse are working as a team towards the same goals. When you have a plan, and the clarity that was previously missing, it’s an amazing feeling! By seeing your commitment to creating a better future, it may be all your spouse needs to get on board.